


Forget me not

by Chalichi



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chalichi/pseuds/Chalichi
Summary: Paul is working as a personal assistant to Hershel Greene who is suffering from Alzheimer’s.Hershel is happy with his life despite his condition and tries to teach his assistant to live his life to the fullest.





	1. Remaining Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> I’ve been working with this story for months now, and I finally feel like it’s ready (enough) to be posted! 
> 
> I just wanted to tell you that I’ve done some research on Alzheimer’s, but everything in here might not be 100% accuret, and if so I apologize in advance. 
> 
> This story is almost complete, I’ve got like one chapter left to write, but I hope to be able to post once a week!  
> I hope you’ll enjoy! :)

The gravel crunched underneath the tires when Paul drove up the familiar path towards the Greene residence.  
The truck sounded way too loud in the otherwise silent environment. 

Daryl, Paul’s roommate had been kind enough to lend him the truck while Paul’s own car was in the workshop. 

As it turned out, ignoring the glaring red engine light for over six months did cause the car to promptly shut down after all.  
Paul had been lucky. He’d been able to drive over to the side of the busy highway before the car had given its last sigh before shutting down completely. 

The truck huffed and came to a halt, as Paul shut the engine off and climbed out of the huge vehicle. 

Paul climbed the stairs towards the door and knocked, positive that his presence already had been known due the roaring engine alone. 

“Hershel?” Paul called in the hallway, taking his coat off and walked towards the kitchen where the old man usually hung out. 

“I was wondering what all the ruckus was about!” Hershel said, rolling his wheelchair towards Paul in the hallway. 

“Yeah, sorry.” Paul said, feeling his face heat up a little.  
“I’m borrowing my roommates truck right now. My own car broke down yesterday.” 

“That explains it.” Hershel chuckled. 

“Yeah. So I’m gonna make myself known for a couple of days.” Paul sighed. 

“I’ll say! I think my neighbors knows you’re here! And they live three miles away!!” Hershel laughed and wheeled towards the kitchen.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Paul muttered and followed after the old man.  
“What do you want for breakfast today?” He asked and opened the fridge eyeing its contents. 

“I think I’m in the mood for something light today. A hard boiled egg and toast.” Hershel answered, opening today’s newspaper. 

Paul nodded and went on with his task. 

Paul glanced at the old man while he waited for the egg to boil and allowed himself to space out for a while. 

Paul had worked as a personal assistant for about two years when his first client passed.  
She had been battling with lung cancer for a long time and had spent most of her time in and out of hospital the last months of her life.  
She had been in a world of pain in the end, drugged up to oblivion to keep her calm and as pain free as possible.  
Paul had suffered with her, sitting there with her, talking more to himself than her directly. 

Paul had asked for a few months off after that. Wanting to grieve the los of his client in peace before thinking about going back to work.  
Her passing had taken its toll on him.  
He knew not to get too attached, but spending most of your time with a person does that to you. You will get attached whether you like it or not.

A few weeks later his boss called him.  
He had found a new client for him if he were interested.  
Hershel Greene, age 69, two daughters, widower, early stages of Alzheimer’s. He’d lost one of his legs due to neglect of his diabetes. It had began as a small wound on his leg.  
The wound never healed, causing the doctors to remove the leg, just below the knee. 

Even though it hadn’t been more than a little over two months since his last client had passed, Paul agreed to meet with the man.  
It had been the best decision he’d ever made. 

Hershel was well aware about his disease, he knew how Alzheimer’s worked, his grandmother had had it.  
But he’d told Paul that he refused to let himself feel down because of it.  
He was alive, he had two beautiful daughters and a grandchild on the way. He was happy.  
But he also refused to let his daughter take care of him, even though they had offered, many times.  
“They have enough going on in their life as it is. They don’t have to baby their old man too.” He’d said to Paul on their first meeting. 

Paul had fallen hard for the old mans optimism and love of life.  
For the first time in a really long time Paul felt good going to work.  
He genuinely liked spending most of his time with Hershel. 

“I think the eggs are ready by now.” Hershel’s voice broke his train of thought. He snapped his eyes over to the old man.  
“I hope you were thinking about something nice at least!” Hershel laughed at Paul’s reddening face. 

“Don’t know what I was thinking about actually.” He said and turned the stove off.

“Where you thinking about this Daryl character perhaps?” Hershel asked then, folding his newspaper up and putting it aside. 

“My roommate?” Paul asked.  
“Why would I daydream about him?” 

“Well, you talk about him constantly.”Hershel pointed out with a light shrug.  
“Don’t think I’ve heard you talk about anybody else actually.” 

Paul laughed and walked over to Hershel with his egg and toast.  
“That’s because I live with him.” Paul explained.  
“I don’t really have a life actually.  
Between home and work.” 

“A-ha.” Hershel responded with.  
“So you mean you don’t have time to hang out with your friends?” 

“Well, Daryl is my friend.” Paul said.  
“And my roommate.” 

Hershel started peeling the shell of his egg, and nodded at Paul to take a seat in the chair in front of him. 

“How long have you and this Daryl lived together?” Hershel asked suddenly. 

“About three years now.” Paul answered, sitting down in front of the older man.  
“Why?” 

“Hmm.” Hershel said, taking a bite of his toast.  
“And how long have you been in love with the guy?”  
Hershel looked directly into Paul’s eyes after he’d asked the question. 

“What? No, no.” Paul said in shock.  
“I’m not in love with him!” 

Hershel huffed and shook his head, obviously not convinced. 

“I’m serious. I’m not. We’re just friends.” Paul pressed, picking a little at the case containing Hershel’s insulin pen.  
“Have you already taken this?” He asked then, holding the case up for Hershel to see. 

“I have, crossed the date and everything.” He said pointing at the X in the calendar on the days date.  
“Now don’t go changing the topic on me.” 

Paul smirked and put the container down at the table again.  
“I’m not. Just making sure you’re taking care of yourself old man.”

Hershel huffed at that, taking a bite of his toast again, clearly dropping the subject, much to Paul’s relief.  
Wasn’t like he didn’t like talking about his roommate, but putting his roommate in a romantic light made him a little bit uncomfortable. 

“So...” Paul said clapping his hands together.  
“What’s the plan of today?” 

“Don’t know. Haven’t planned that far today.” Hershel said with his mouth full of egg.  
“Was thinking about cleaning out some of the boxes in the attic, but that’s kind of boring.” 

“Indeed, but if that’s what you wanna do, then we’re doing it!” He said. 

“Never said I wanted to do it, but I’m thinking about the future.” Hershel said, with a serious look on his face, which was an odd look for the usually carefree old man.  
“I have a lot of pictures and old memories up there, piles of old junk too. My wife wasn’t big on throwing things away, always saving stuff for years.” 

“A neat hoarder you might say?” Paul asked with a small smile on his face. 

“Something like that.” Hershel agreed, leaning back on his wheelchair.  
“I have been meaning to go through all of the stuff up there, but I’ve been putting it off for various reasons, sentimental mostly. Haven’t had the strength to walk down memory lane I guess.” 

Hershel took his plate and wheeled over to the sink, placing it on the counter before continuing, Paul following him with his eyes. 

“But now. I guess I’m done putting it off. I don’t want to leave it for the girls to handle when I’m gone. They have done enough for me as it is, not having to deal with that old junk as well.” He ended with, turning around to face Paul. 

“I see.” Paul said, looking into the old mans blue eyes.  
“I don’t think they’d mind it though.” 

Hershel smiled sadly and gripped the wheels of his chair.  
“Maybe not. But I do.”  
He stared rolling out of the kitchen towards the stairs leading to the second floor.  
“Besides, I want to enjoy the old memories while I still can.” 

The comment took Paul completely off guard.  
He hadn’t given that a thought at all!  
He couldn’t even begin to even slightly understand the feeling of knowing all of your memories, old and new, slowly fading away. 

How would he feel, knowing that Paul himself would one day not knowing who Daryl was, who his friends was.  
To forget his identity completely.  
No... he couldn’t even believe the dread of knowing that would happen to himself.

And Hershel, he knew it was happening to him. And yet he smiled, he joked around about everything!  
How? How wasn’t he in utter panic and despair?  
He made a mental note of actually ask him sometime. 

“Have you grown roots connecting you to that chair, or are you actually going to help this one legged man up the stairs sometime today?” He heard Hershel call from the hallway. 

Chuckling he rose from the chair to aid the man. 

*

“Would you look at this!” Hershel exclaimed excitedly while holding a small yellow dress up for Paul to see.  
“It was one of the first dresses my oldest daughters ever wore.” 

Paul stopped rummaging around in the box he was going through and walked over to the old man and took a seat next to him on the dusty floor. 

Hershel wasn’t kidding when he’d said his late wife had been a hoarder.  
The attic was practically flooded with old dusty boxers stacked on top of each other.  
Paul had had to shove some of the boxes away just to get inside the cramped space. 

“It’s really pretty.” He said and took the small dress from Hershel’s hands.  
It was a yellow hand knitted dress completed with knitted white flowers sewn on the chest of it. 

“My wife made it when she was pregnant with her.” He said, continuing going through the box filled with toddler clothes.  
“How she knew it was a girl she was expecting, I will never know. But she did.” 

Paul chuckled while he studied the fine stitches of the dress.  
“I guess a mother knows her child.” He said and handed back the dress to Hershel. 

“I guess so.” He said, putting the dress back in the box carefully.  
“Do you want kids?” He asked then, putting the box to the side and opened a box marked “albums” 

Paul’s eyes widened as he stared at the man as he’d grown a second head. 

“What?” Hershel said, obviously amused at the younger mans reaction.  
“You’re old enough to think about kids. What are you, twenty eight?” 

“I’m twenty nine, and yeah sure. But it’s harder for me to actually have kids.” Paul answered when he’d processed the question enough to speak. 

“You can adopt you know.” Hershel said.

“I know. But that’s not something I want to do on my own.” 

“You and Daryl could adopt one.” Hershel said with smirk. 

Paul shoved the man good naturally, making him laugh out loud. 

“We’re not a couple!” Paul said, laughing himself. 

“What ever you say.” Hershel said trying to catch his breath.  
“But I’m telling you. You’re in love with the guy.” 

Paul huffed and got up from the floor, walking towards the box he was going through. All while Hershel started to laugh again.


	2. A distant feeling

Paul dragged his feet over the threshold when he finally got into the small apartment he shared with his roommate.  
Not even bothering with taking of his shoes and coat he collapsed face first onto the large couch dominating the otherwise small living room. 

“Rough day?” He heard Daryl say.  
Paul tilted his head to the direction of Daryl’s voice to look at him. 

He stood leaning against the kitchen doorway, looking at him with a smug smile. 

Paul closed his eyes and groaned tiredly.  
“I’ve been digging through so many boxes today!” He said, flipping over on his back and stretched his arms out.  
“And we’re not even halfway done! He have so much stuff!!” 

Daryl laughed and walked over to the fallen man.  
“Tired or not, you can’t walk inside with boots covered in mud.”  
As soon as he’d said it Daryl proceeded with untying said boots and took them off of Paul’s feet. 

“Sorry. Wasn’t thinking.” Paul mumbled, almost half asleep already. 

“S’Alright.” Daryl said, taking a seat next to Paul’s head.  
“Speaking of work, I’m gonna need the truck tomorrow.”

Paul’s eyes snapped open, tilting his head up to be able to see Daryl without making to much effort In moving his body.  
“You said you didn’t need it until next week!” Paul argued, feeling panic rising.  
“How will I get to work tomorrow?!” 

“I got called in.” Daryl explained “Something about Morgan getting his foot crushed underneath a car or something. Wasn’t listening. And I guess I’ll just have to drive you there and pick you up when I get off.”

Paul’s eyes widened at that. He would get so teased by Hershel if he saw Daryl driving him to work.  
“Shit.” Paul cursed. 

“Well, if you don’t like the idea you could always take the bus or walk to work instead.” Daryl argued and got up from the couch. 

“No. No. It’ll be fine. Your idea’s fine.” Paul answered slowly,not really feeling like getting up at three AM to be on time for work.  
“It works.” 

“Great.” Daryl said with a confused tint in his voice.  
“Want some coffee before bed?”

Paul shook his head no. Drinking anything with caffeine before bed made it impossible for him to actually fall asleep, and he didn’t feel like being dead tired in the morning, especially not when he knew he’d have to go trough the rest of the boxes. How Daryl managed to down a whole pitcher of coffee and have no problem with falling asleep was a mystery to him, but he did it! 

“No. I think I’ll settle for a glass of juice.” He answered. 

Daryl just nodded and walked into the kitchen, Paul following the other mans movements with his eyes. 

After a few minutes Daryl walked back into the living room with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and Paul’s glass of juice in the other.  
He handed Paul the glass and sat down by his head. 

“You’re gonna have to sit up before you drink that.” Daryl said, blowing a little on his coffee.  
“Don’t want juice all over the couch.”  
Daryl always got a little extra cranky after having to spend the whole day doing nothing but cleaning up the apartment or watching tv all day.  
Paul had gotten used to it, but the “helpful” pointers could get on Paul’s nerves after a while. 

“I will.” Paul said, closing his eyes.  
“Trying to gather up the energy for it first.” 

“Hmm.” Daryl hummed and took a sip of his coffee, watching the black tv screen.  
“Want me to wake you up tomorrow?” He asked. 

Paul thought about it for a little while.  
Daryl was an early riser, always waking up at least five minutes before the alarm went off, without fail.  
Paul on the other hand never woke up by the alarm.  
He could sleep through a hurricane, no joke. 

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Paul said, finally sitting up on the couch to take a sip of his juice.  
“Don’t think I’d be able to wake up on my own actually.” 

“You never do.” Daryl huffed, setting his cup on the coffee table and turned slightly on the couch so he was facing Paul’s back.  
He then placed his hands on Paul’s stiff shoulders and started massaging them. 

Paul groaned as he felt all the tension leave his body as Daryl preceded to work he knots in his neck and shoulders.  
As he slowly relaxed his body he hung his head down, giving Daryl better access on his neck.

“Seems like the old man is really giving you a hard time. You’re stiffer than a board!” Daryl said, the gravely sound of his voice close to Paul’s ear by how close the older man was leaning to him made a slight shiver run through Paul’s body.

“It’s alright. I’m used to hard work.” Paul said tiredly.  
“Besides, I really like the old fool.”

“Whatever you say man.” Daryl sighed. The slight huff of Daryl’s breath ghosting on Paul’s exposed skin made another shiver go through Paul’s body. 

That got Paul’s attention. Why was he responding to Daryl’s closeness like that? He’d never done it in the past. Daryl had given him massages before, and he’d never reacted like that before.  
Hershel’s teasing must’ve started getting to his head!

He felt Daryl’s hands started to wander lower, working on the stiff muscles of his back, and yet another shiver went through his body.

Paul’s eyes snapped open and he moved forward without warning, standing up from the couch, almost spilling his juice in the proses.

“Paul what...” Daryl started.

“Tired... Going to bed.” Paul explained hurriedly and stalked off into his bedroom without looking at Daryl. 

“Aight. Night then.” He heard Daryl call after him, confused no doubt. 

Paul fell onto his bed, not bothering with undressing.  
He rolled onto his back, staring up to the dark ceiling.  
What the fuck was wrong with his emotions?  
What had Hershel done to him?  
This was bad.

*

“Paul!!! Ya awake!?” Daryl’s voice was heard behind the closed door after a series of loud bangs at it.  
“Paul I swear to god!” 

“I’m awake! I’m awake!!” Paul shouted back at the closed door.  
“You can stop breaking down my door now. Jesus.” 

“Fine. Get up and get dressed. We’re leaving in thirty minutes.” Daryl said as his voice faded away when he walked into another room.

“Fuck.” Paul breathed as he sat up trying to clear his sleep clouded head.  
He’d not slept well at all. Dreams about a certain broad shouldered roommate had been hunting him all night.  
They hadn’t been particularly bad, not in a full fledged nightmare kind of way.  
He couldn’t remember anything in clear detail, just a few pictures here and there, but it was more of what he’d felt in the few specs he remembered that was scaring him.  
He remembered that he and Daryl had been holding hands, just walking down a generic road.  
He’d looked up at Daryl’s face and a whole army of butterflies had erupted in his stomach.  
He could still feel the warmth of Daryl’s hand on his own.

The whole night had been like that. Small scenarios of him and Daryl together.  
But that one was the clearest.

“Fuck.” He said again, panic and fright bubbling in his stomach, churning around inside of him like angry snakes.  
What the fuck was he supposed to do now?! This couldn’t be happening! 

He took a deep breath and stood up on the cold floor searching around in his room for a fresh set of clothes.  
No! This thing- whatever it was- was going to pass. It was only because of Hershel’s teasing him about him having feelings for Daryl, nothing else! 

Finding a pair of clean jeans and a almost clean shirt he peeled off the ones he’d been sleeping in and hoped into the fresh ones.  
Yes. It would pass he decided. He couldn’t ruin his friendship with Daryl anyways. He was too important to him. 

Putting his hair up into a messy bun,he walked out off his room.


	3. I’m pushing it away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul tries to deal with his feelings for Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m late! I know I’m late, believe me.   
> And I’m sorry.   
> These past weeks have been crazy for me to say the least.   
> A lot of phone calls and arguing.   
> Two things I hate with a passion.   
> But It’s done! And I’m back! 
> 
> Hope you’ll like this chapter and forgive my lateness! :)

“You’re quiet this morning. Something wrong?” Daryl asked when they’d driven half the distance towards Paul’s client.  
He’d barely said two words to Daryl at home either.   
The fact that Daryl hadn’t spoken much wasn’t something new, he was a pretty quiet guy by nature.   
Paul on the other hand was a chatterbox.   
So naturally Daryl would ask.

Paul shook his head no. 

“Ya sure?” Daryl pressed.   
“Usually my ears would be bleeding by now.”   
Daryl chuckled and shook his head. 

“Just tired is all.” Paul said. It wasn’t a lie, he really was tired.  
Exhausted actually. 

“If you say so.” Daryl sighed and glanced over to the smaller man with a worried look on his face.  
Paul felt a little guilty for making his friend worry about him, but the strange dreams he’d had that night had jumbled his feelings up completely. He couldn’t shake them off at all. It made his head spin and his stomach knot with worry. So until he got whatever the feelings was figured out he wanted to remain silent about it.   
Maybe they would go away on their own after a little while? 

“Daryl. Really, I’m just tired.” He said to the older man when he’d glanced at him for the tenth time with the same worried expression on his face.   
“Nothing else.” He tried flashing him a reassuring smile, but he suspected it looked more like a pained grimace. But Daryl seemed to calm down somewhat by Paul’s words. 

*

“So I’m picking ya up later then.” Daryl said when the truck came to a halt outside the Greene’s residence.   
“I’m getting off at five-ish I think.” 

“Sounds good.” Paul said, looking into Daryl’s blue eyes.   
Had his eyes always been that blue?   
It was a really nice color!   
He smelled really nice too Paul noticed.  
He felt like leaning into the other man, taking a deep breath, filling his lungs with Daryl’s scent. 

“Ya sure you’re fine? You look a little flushed.” Daryl asked making Paul flush ever harder, cursing himself for his thoughts and cursing Hershel for even putting them inside his head. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Maybe just a bug or something.” Paul lied. 

“Maybe.” Daryl said, putting his palm against Paul’s forehead.   
“Ya feel a little hot.” He said removing his hand again. 

Paul sat frozen in his seat still feeling the warm touch of Daryl’s hand against his head. He needed to get out of the car. Quickly, before he did something he would regret, or maybe not, he wasn’t really sure. 

“I’ll be fine. See you tonight!” Paul said in one breath and more of less bolted out of the car. 

*

“How much stuff can one person collect!!” Paul groaned out and rubbed his sore shoulders. 

“It’s not just me.” Hershel protested and picked out yet another photo album.   
“Like I said, my wife insisted that we’d keep anything she found useful. Turns out that she found pretty much everything useful.” 

“Seems like it.” Paul said picking up a old rusty can with what he thought was once bunnies painted on it. Now it looked more like white blobs with black eyes, rust eating away all the paint on the can.

He dropped the rusty can in a garbage bag and leaned back on the wall sighing deeply.   
They had been on it for over two hours, sorting box after box after box. They seemed to grow in numbers! After they’d emptied one two seemed to appear out of thin air! 

“We could take a breather if you like.” Hershel said, dropping another album into one of the ‘saving’ boxes. 

“No it’s fine. We can keep going for a little while more if you’d like.” Paul said looking at the time on his phone, seeing some messages from Daryl complaining about his boss making him do slave labor and asking once again if he was all right.   
Paul smiled a little at his friends concern but chose to ignore the messages for now.   
“It’s almost time for lunch anyway.” 

Hershel hummed and kept digging in the box he had started on, taking out two broken expensive looking lamps and a busted frame.  
He studied the lamps for a while before he tossed them into one the of the steadily filling garbage bags. 

“How’s things going between you and that roommate of yours? He’s the one dropping you off today right?” Hershel said with a playful glint in his eyes. 

Paul stopped what he was doing to look up at the old man with wide eyes.  
He knew Hershel had seen him come in, the old man was always up when the morning personnel got in for work, the person having the night shift being responsible for getting him ready in the morning before they left. 

“It was, and we’re good. Still just friends.” Paul said, butterflies - or snakes - he wasn’t really sure - started jumping around inside his intestines, making him feel nervous and nauseous at the same time. 

“See, you keep telling me that when you know that ain’t true.” Hershel said and the playful glint turned into a teasing one.

“But it is. There’s nothing more.” Paul said stubbornly, even though a small voice in the back of his head whispered ‘but you want more’. Paul quickly shut that voice up and pushed it back to where it came from.   
“Just friends.” 

“You sure he doesn’t want more?” Hershel asked as he tossed yet another busted frame into the trash, keeping his eyes at what he was doing.   
“Looks like he cares really much about you.” 

Paul thought about it for a second, and yes, Daryl was really caring towards him, always had been for the almost three years they had been living together.   
He cooked dinner for him, cleaned up after him, looked out for him when he was sick or the times he had been drunk off his ass. Sure, he could be a little too caring, and it could look like something else for a person who didn’t know them. But that was just how things was between them.   
Paul couldn’t cook for shit and Daryl knew that.   
Paul was messy, Daryl was a neat-freak.   
They were polar opposites.   
Paul always made Daryl laugh and had pushed him out of his shell (quite forcefully if you’d ask Daryl about it) and that made him make some new really good friends.   
They completed each other that way.   
But they were still just friends. 

“He does. But only on a friendly way.” Paul said and threw a broken vase in the trash. 

“My friends have never touched my face that way, but I guess time has just changed then.” Hershel laughed and looked up at Paul,the glint in his eyes still present. 

*

A few days passed and the boxes in Hershel’s attic did - believe it or not - actually thin out to a more controlled amount.   
There were actually space to walk around without fearing to trip on something and break your neck. 

“I think I’ve thrown out everything I need to.” Hershel said as they packed the last box marked ‘saving’.   
“Now we just need sort everything and mark them with what’s inside them.” 

Paul turned to look at Hershel in disbelief. His eyes wide and mouth agape.  
“Whaaaa...?” He said. Not believing his ears.

“I’m kidding!!” Hershel laughed, holding his hands up.  
“That’s a job I’m leaving for my daughters. But you should’ve seen your face though.” 

Paul shook his head in amusement and mild annoyance and followed the old man down the stairs, closing the attic door behind them. 

*

Paul unlocked the door to the apartment and turned the lights on in the pitch black hallway.   
Daryl had still not gotten home.  
He’d told Paul that he was going to help Rick out with his car.   
Something wrong with the breaks or something similar, he’d zoned out like he always did when Daryl started talking about cars.

Daryl had been kind enough to lend him the truck so he could get to work at least, since Paul’s car had been proven to be beyond repairing and was now sitting in the car graveyard waiting to be crushed together with other car cadavers. 

Daryl hadn’t said when he was expected to get back home, but Paul had thought that he would be home by now since it was pretty late, but the dark and empty apartment told him otherwise. 

Sighing in both relief and disappointment he discarded his jacket and boots before walking over and falling down on the couch. 

The strange feelings he’d gotten for Daryl hadn’t faltered, not even a little. They seemed to on the contrary been getting stronger as the time passed on. 

And it didn’t help either that he kept on noticing other stuff about Daryl all the time.   
Stuff that he had been obvious to before.  
Like how good he looked in a tight shirt, how well his pants hugged his legs, the way his hair looked, his voice and not least all the freaking stuff he always did for Paul!   
At times it almost felt like the older man was flirting with him, which he of course didn’t, because he knew that Daryl didn’t feel that way about him. And that crushed him a little to his great annoyance. 

Paul was so lost in his jumbled mind that he almost didn’t hear the door slam the voice of the man unbeknownst messing up his mind in the hallway. 

“Hey! Sorry took a little longer than expected, Rick invited me to stay for dinner.” Daryl said and took a seat in the armchair next to the couch.   
“Didn’t expect to stay that long.”

Paul hummed and twisted around in the couch so he could look at Daryl.

“I can still make you something to eat if you’re hungry.” 

“No it’s ok.” Paul said quickly, a bubbling unpleasant feeling starting to spread itself in his system. A feeling he’d felt quite a few times in the past, and even more recent. A feeling he used to push down as soon as it made itself known. Jealousy.  
It came as a shock to him. Jealous, because Daryl had hung out with Rick? Why? It wasn’t like it was something new.  
Daryl and Rick hung out all the time!  
Was it because Daryl had chosen to eat with Rick instead of him?  
Maybe.   
But still, he shouldn’t feel that way!   
These feelings was going to be the death of him. 

“No?” Daryl said eyeing him suspiciously. 

“I’ve already eaten. At work.” Paul explained. It wasn’t a lie. He’d chosen to eat with Hershel before leaving for the evening.   
Dinner had been ready when Sasha walked in for her shift, and he’d decided to stay and eat before leaving.   
Even less of a reason for jealousy to show its ugly head, but his feelings had a mind of its own as it seemed. 

“Well that’s good then!” Daryl said, still eyeing him except now he looked more confused and maybe even a little hurt. 

“Yeah. It is.” Paul said and sat up in the couch instead. 

The two men kept their eyes on each other.   
Daryl’s deep blue looking into Paul’s own green ones.   
It was when Paul started to feel a strange pull towards the other man - like a magnet drawing him in, asking him to just touch the other man - he decided that he needed to get away and stood up. 

“I-I think... I’m going to bed.” Paul said, his voice cracking a little and started walking towards his bedroom.

“Alright. Good night.” Daryl said. He sounded hurt, making Paul feel bad for his strange behavior.  
It wasn’t fair towards Daryl.  
He had no idea why Paul was acting like he did, and he had - more than once thought about just telling Daryl about his new found feelings for his friend and roommate. But every time he was about to he chickened out. He was afraid of what Daryl would think or do. What if he wanted to move away? What if he didn’t want to be friends with him any more?  
Sure if Daryl moved it would be easier for Paul to deal with everything, but... no.  
Paul would just have to deal with these feelings in another way.  
He still wanted Daryl in his life.  
He needed him in his life.


	4. A crack in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I’m late again.  
> This time it’s because I’ve been hesitant about posting this chapter in old fashioned nervousness. 
> 
> But now I’ve gotten past the worst of it!   
> I really hope you’ll like it!

Paul stirred in the pot of deer stew him and Hershel had decided to reheat as a light midnight snack.  
Paul had the graveyard shift tonight.  
It wasn’t as bad as you were actually allowed to sleep when Hershel slept.  
Paul almost never did that though since he wasn’t that light of a sleeper. He was afraid that something would happen to Hershel in the middle of the night and he would sleep right through it.  
So instead he opted for hold himself awake all night, watching late night tv and playing games on his phone.  
It worked fairly well, the only negative thing about it was that he was dead tired on his way home.  
It would be alright to be tired in the morning though, since Daryl would be picking him up.  
So he wasn’t worried about it. 

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” Hershel said.  
Paul took his gaze away from the simmering stew to look at the old mans ice blue eyes instead. 

“I am?” Paul asked befuddled. 

“You are. I’m used to never getting you to shut up, but now I can barely start a conversation with you. What’s up? You and your boyfriend had a fight?” 

Paul shook his head in amusement and looked down at the almost ready stew.  
He stirred around in it with a ladle so it wouldn’t get burnt in the bottom.  
“No. Not exactly.” Paul said quietly, almost to himself. 

“What was that?” Hershel said and wheeled himself closer to the young man.  
“No ‘we’re not a couple!’ Was I right all along?!” 

Paul looked at the other man and smiled sadly. “Not exactly.” He said again, louder that time.

“Ok! What’s up with you boy?!” Hershel pressed, getting obviously intrigued and a little concerned with his assistant.  
“You know almost everything there is to know about me, and you know I don’t talk shit about anyone. Hell, I will most likely forget about the conversation we’re having right now in a few days. You can talk to me. I might even be able to give you some advice!”

Paul looked into the old mans warm eyes in silence.  
“Let this old man share his wisdom before he wither and dies.” Hershel said. 

At first Paul thought about just drop the subject all together, come up with some lame ass excuse he knew Hershel wouldn’t believe but accept anyway and drop the subject.  
Hershel was good that way, he never pressed anything to much and accepted boundaries.  
But the old man was actually asking for him to open up. He was ready to listen.  
And he had a point. Paul knew everything there was to know about the old man.  
Hershel on the other hand didn’t know to much about Paul’s personal life other that he was gay and lived with another man in a non romantic way.  
That was about it.  
And since it actually was Hershel’s fault Paul had started to have these “more than friends” feelings for Daryl, then maybe Hershel could tell him what he thought he should do?  
Was worth a shot at least. 

“All right.” Paul said and put the now heated stew on the counter to cool down a little and turned to face Hershel fully.  
“Recently I’ve started to have these feelings for my roommate. And I don’t know what to do about them and it makes me terrified.” 

“Huh...” Hershel said thoughtfully and leaned back in his wheelchair.

“That’s all you gonna say?” Paul said with wide eyes and looked at the older man In disbelief. 

“Hold on boy! I’m trying to sort this out!” Hershel chastised him.  
“You’ve given me more questions than answers over here.” 

“Like what?” Paul asked crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Like why you’re terrified? Shouldn’t you be happy? Aren’t being in love a beautiful feeling?” Hershel asked.  
“Those kinda of questions.” 

“I’m terrified because I don’t want to get hurt. I’m terrified because I don’t think Daryl feels the same way and if I act on my feelings he will end up hurting me when he rejects me.” Paul explained. “And then I won’t just have lost a love interest, but a friend and roommate as well.” 

“Are you certain he will reject you? What makes you think he will? You’re a good looking guy, and kindhearted.” Hershel said.  
“Doesn’t you two play on the same team?” 

That made Paul laugh, he would never in his life think that he would’ve have had this kind of conversation with anyone of his clients. Not in a million years.  
“Well first of all, thank you and second, he plays for both teams I think.” 

“Well there you go! I don’t see the issue!” Hershel said genuinely confused by Paul’s fear.

“Well, let’s put it this way then! Daryl has never showed me any interest in anything other than friendship.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Hershel said, making Paul shut his mouth and tilt his head in interest and confusion. Hershel started to explain.  
“From what I’ve heard from you and seen the few times I’ve seen you two interact he really likes you, and I can guarantee that he won’t shoot you down.  
Like I’ve said before, none of my friends have never done anything like Daryl does for you.  
I’ve seen the way he looks at you. That look is more than friendly.” 

“But what if he doesn’t like me like that? What if you’re wrong?” Paul asked in a small voice.

“Then you guys will get over it. And then you will know at least. And I don’t think a good friend like Daryl will tear you down. Sure, it will be awkward for a while, but you will get past it.” Hershel stared into Paul’s green eyes shining with confidence and kindness.  
“I’ve been heartbroken many times, and I’m still alive.” 

Paul looked down at the floor, Hershel’s words ringing in his head. Maybe he was right, but maybe...  
“Me too.” Paul said quietly and looked up from the floor.  
“I’ve been heartbroken too.” 

Hershel nodded - “And I believe that screwed you up big time and that’s why you’re acting the way you’re acting now. But, just like me, you’re still alive.”  
Paul smiled sadly at the older man, and nodded.

“Don’t let a bad breakup ruin your life. Just move on. Let yourself live.” 

Paul nodded again grateful for Hershel’s kind words.  
“I’ll try.” 

*

“I can’t believe the stupidity of some people!” Hershel shouted at the tv screen and tossed the potato chip he was holding at it.  
“Useless! You had it!!.” 

After their talk in the kitchen neither of the men was really hungry and decided to put the stew in the refrigerator and brought out a few bags of chips instead.  
Paul had tried to argue with him about his sugar and the dangers whit diabetes, but the older man had shot his arguments down with a “yolo” which the younger man had laughed out loud at and had given him a bag.  
“I won’t be held responsible for this. This is your own decision.” Paul had said. 

“I’m a grown man boy!” Hershel had said and opened the bag while he had rolled towards the living room.

They had flipped through a few channels, and had gotten caught in a game show with celebrities in a fear factor style of way.  
It was kind of fun to see celebrities making a fool of themselves for charity. 

“Looks like she doesn’t like to get her hands dirty.” Paul had mused when one of the reality stars had screamed bloody murder for holding a cockroach in her hand for five seconds. 

“I’ve could’ve done it!! Hell I’ve done worse for less!” Hershel fumed. 

“You live on a farm! Of course you have!” Paul laughed. 

Hershel grumbled and took up a few new chips from the bag, or tried to. He seemed to be having some difficulties with holding the bag with his right hand. The bag seemed to be slipping away from his grasp, resulting in him pushing it further away in his lap. 

“Do you need some help with that?” Paul asked the man and looked over at him.

“I... manash...” Hershel said. Looking a little confused and lost, like he didn’t really know what he was doing. 

“Hershel?” Paul called out, trying to get the mans attention.  
“Are you alright?” 

Hershel looked up at him when he called his name, but didn’t seem to understand the question and kept saying random words with a slurred speech, some drool dripping from the right side of his mouth.  
And that’s when Paul realized that the right side of his face was drooping.  
Just slightly, but it was noticeable.

“Hershel?” Paul said getting up from his seat and rushed over to him.  
“Can you hear me?” 

Hershel just looked at him, not seeming to understand the words he was saying at all.

“Shit.” Paul said under his breath.  
And picked out his phone and called for an ambulance. 

“Paul?” Hershel said and looked scared, he seemed to get affected by Paul’s actions and fright by the situation. 

“It’s okay. I’m getting you some help.” Paul tried to reassure the now worried man.

The emergency operator answered and Paul gave a short summary of the emergency.  
“I think my client is having a stroke.” He said and gave them the address to Hershel’s farm. 

*

The ambulance seemed to have taken forever to get there.  
At least in Paul’s panicked world it had.  
He had tried to keep Hershel calm and comfortable, which hadn’t been an easy task as his symptoms had worsened.  
About three minutes after Paul had made the call Hershel had started experience nausea and had started vomiting soon afterwards. 

He looked pale and was shaking both of exhaustion and fright.  
Paul wasn’t faring much better himself.  
He was scared and felt lost. He wanted to help the old man but wasn’t able to.

When the paramedics finally arrived they took Hershel into the ambulance on a stretcher.  
“I’m coming with you!” Paul argued with them.  
“I know what kind of medication he takes and he can’t answer on his own right now.” 

The female paramedic nodded and opened the door for him to get in much to Paul’s relief.

*

“Daryl.” Paul said into his phone, his voice cracking. 

“Paul? What happened? Are you alright?” Daryl’s voice had changed from newly awake to alert in two seconds. 

“Can you come and pick me up. I’m at the hospital.” Paul asked. He was on the verge of tears from both worry and exhaustion.  
Talking to doctors and seeing his client getting prepared for surgery had broken him completely. 

The memories of the client he’d had before Hershel flashed back into his head and that had just gotten to much for him.  
He cracked under the weight and broke down. 

“What?! Are you okay! Paul talk to me!!” Daryl’s panicked voice rang out from the other end.

“I’m okay. It’s not me. We’ll talk on the way home. Just... please.” Paul said, voice cracking again as tears gathered in his eyes.

“I’ll be right there.” Daryl said and hung up.  
Paul breathed out and slowly sat down on the floor in the waiting area, trying desperately to gather himself again. 

He’d had the job of calling Hershel’s daughters and tell them what had happened. They had thanked him and had said that they were getting there right away.  
He’d had called his colleague and told her too. 

Paul’s phone dinged, revealing a text from Daryl.  
He sighed and got up from the cold hospital floor, his body tired and stiff from all the tension he was feeling and walked out of the hospital towards the parking lot. 

“Paul.” Daryl said as he opened car door and walked over to him. 

Paul looked into Daryl’s warm gaze and just lost it.  
Hot tears streamed down his face with no sign of stopping.  
He felt Daryl’s hands close around his cold and stiff arms and felt himself getting pulled into Daryl’s warm embrace.

“It’s ok. It’s going to be okay.” Daryl murmured into Paul’s hair.


	5. I'm on the edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again!  
> And I'm late again as usual! 
> 
> I hope you guys have had an amazing Christmas with all your loved ones.  
> I really did! 
> 
> So this chapter is barely edited, so I'm sorry I there is any mistakes or other spelling errors I surely have missed.  
> English is not my native language so, yeah.  
> And I'm not a doctor, so some scenes in this chapter might not be accurate, but it's fiction after all. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this very belated chapter, and I hope you guys have a great New year's!

Five days had passed since Paul had followed Hershel in the ambulance.  
Five days since he’d broken down into a pile of sobbing mess.  
Five days since he’d seen Hershel’s smiling face and eyes. The eyes usually filled with happiness and life. 

His boss had called him the morning after and had told him to take a few days to himself, fully paid of course.  
Paul hadn’t argued with her, as emotionally and physically exhausted he felt he doubted he would be any good at anything at that moment. 

He wandered out into the kitchen fully dressed, grabbing the juice carton at the table and Daryl’s glass, pouring a glass for himself.  
Daryl looked at him with wide eyes and glanced over at the clock, only to look back at Paul once again. 

“What?!” Paul said while taking a sip of the juice. 

“What do you mean what?” Daryl said.  
“What are you doing up already? It’s only eight! Someone hit you over the head or something?” 

Paul laughed and put the glass back down on the table.  
“No, and I’m not sick either. I’m going to see my client at the hospital. Wanted to get there early.” 

“That’s a good idea?” Daryl asked, his face changing into one of concern.  
“You should be resting. Going to see him might be too stressful for you.” 

Paul closed his eyes and sighed.  
“Well, I’m going to see him when he gets home eventually anyway.” He said.  
“And I’m feeling better. Just want to see how he’s doing.” 

Paul opened his eyes and glanced over at Daryl, the look of concern still present on his face.  
Paul had an urge to walk over and run his hands over the sides of Daryl’s face and kiss that concerned look away.  
Paul felt his face go hot and looked away quickly. 

If Daryl noticed anything he chose not to comment on it, much to Paul’s great relief. 

* 

Paul wasn’t sure what he had expected to see when he got to the hospital.  
He knew what a stroke was, and he knew about the side effects.  
But for some reason he had in his mind that Hershel would pass through it with a breeze.  
That was apparently not the case. 

Hershel laid on his back on the hospital bed.  
He looked pale and small, tubes and monitors surrounding him in the plain white room.  
He had a large bandage around his head from the surgery five days ago. 

Paul had no idea what he had expected to see, but that was clearly not it. 

“Hershel?” Paul whispered when he stood next to the man, grasping his needle free hand. 

The old man opened his eyes slowly at the sound of his name and looked at the young man with blurry tired eyes. 

“Hey. How are you doing?” Paul asked with a smile. A smile that fell rather quickly when he noticed the confused look in the old mans eyes.  
The man seemed to have a rather huge difficulty of recognizing him. 

“It’s Paul.” He said, hoping that the sound of his name would trigger something in Hershel’s memory. 

Hershel studied his face his tired eyes showing no signs of recognition, his mouth opening and closing, nothing coming out but wheezing noises and a few sounds resembling words. 

“Hi dad.” A woman voice was heard behind him.  
Paul turned to the source of the voice and saw a dark haired rather tall woman.  
He recognized her from a few photographs Hershel had in his house.  
“I don’t think we have met before.” She continued and walked over to Paul with her hand stretched out to him.  
“I’m Maggie. Hershel’s oldest daughter.” 

Paul let go of Hershel’s hand and grasped Maggie’s.  
“I’m Paul. Hershel’s assistant.” He greeted her. 

“So you were the one that brought him here.” She said, giving him a sad smile. 

“Well yeah. I recognized the symptoms and acted the only way I knew how.” 

“You did the right thing and I’m grateful.” She said and leaned over, kissing her fathers face.  
“Isn’t that right dad? He saved your life.” 

Paul felt taken aback by the praise he got form Maggie. He wasn’t expecting that at all.  
He’d just followed his instincts and called for help. He’d felt helpless and panicked while he was doing it.  
He didn’t feel like he deserve praise at all. 

“I am truly grateful. Thank you.” Maggie said, looking at him with a warmth in her eyes.  
His eyes wandered from Maggie’s warm gaze to Hershel’s tired ones again. 

“He doesn’t seem to recognize me.” He said then quietly. 

Maggie looked from Paul back to her father with a sad smile.  
“No. We don’t really know.” She said locking eyes with Paul again.  
“The doctors said that the stroke had done some damage to the brain tissue already damaged by the Alzheimer’s. They can’t say how much damage though, and we don’t know how much he remembers and how much he will recover, if at all.”  
Unshed tears started glistening in her eyes as he saw the young woman tried desperately to collect herself. 

Paul himself started feeling his throat getting tighter at both her words and her reaction.  
“Oh.” He said and cleared his throat to keep his voice from shattering.  
“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah. Me too.” She said, reaching out her hand to grasp her fathers.  
“Since my father got his diagnosis I’ve tried my best to be prepared. I knew that his memory would falter and that he would get worse, eventually.” A few tears escaped her shining eyes despite her best efforts to stop them.  
“But in the end, you’re never prepared. It just happened too fast you know.”  
She turned to Paul again, tears flowing freely. 

“He likes you. Talks about you all the time.”  
Paul couldn’t help the smile from forming on his lips despite the cold sadness creeping into his heart. 

“Thank you. For telling me.” He said.  
Maggie just nodded and turned to her father again that had been looking at the two while they were talking.  
Paul started walking towards the door, wanting to leave the two alone. 

He turned towards them again, waving goodbye at them.  
Just as he was about to leave Hershel opened his mouth again, trying to form words, but his time the words leaving the old mans mouth cut straight to his heart like a knife. 

“G-g-go.... get.... h-h-im... boy.” 

* 

When Paul got home he was a mess.  
His eyes were red and puffy from crying and his throat was sore from screaming at the heaven for the unfairness of it all!  
Long story short- Paul was in a rather sour mood. 

“Oh my god!” Daryl said when he saw the other man walk into the living room.  
“What happened?” 

Paul sat down, whole body tense with pent up anger and sadness.  
“It’s not fair! He’s still teasing me! He’s gone trough so much and he’s still fucking teasing me!” Paul laughed almost manically as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“Paul, you’re scaring me.” Daryl said and moved closer to him on the couch.  
“What do you mean?” 

“I just don’t get it. He’s close to death, but he’s still carefree enough to tease me.” Paul said, shaking his head.  
“He was like that even before the stroke! I would be crying and cursing, but he’s just...” Paul trailed off dropping his head in his hands while groaning. 

“Maybe he doesn’t need it. Maybe he has accepted that things are as they are?” Daryl said.  
“Some people want the people around them to be happy and positive even if their own life is shit, they don’t want their loved ones to be sad for their sake. They just want them to look forward. Be happy for the time they have together instead. That might be the way he wants to live?” 

Paul turned to look at his roommate with wide eyes.  
“Maybe.” Paul had never thought about it like that.  
But Daryl had a point. 

“People cope differently.” Daryl said shrugging and looked at the state of his friend. He looked like he was going to fall on his face any second.  
Daryl shook his head and grabbed hold of Paul’s arm and pulled him against himself, embracing the smaller man. 

Paul gasped as he was being pressed against the larger man, the smell of Daryl invading his nostrils and the warmth radiating from him was slowly warming Paul’s frozen body up.  
Tingles started spreading throughout his body when Daryl started stroking his back with his hands in a soothing manner. 

Paul leaned back a little and tilted his head up to look at the other man.  
Paul’s gaze landed at the other mans lips, slightly parted as he breathed slow steady breaths. 

Every fiber of Paul’s being screamed at him to just go for it, just lean in and kiss those lips.  
Feel them against his own. 

Suddenly Hershel’s voice ringed inside his head and something inside him just clicked. “Go get him boy.” 

He leaned in closer towards the other man, tossing his fears aside and covered the other mans lips with his own.


	6. Falling To Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this awfully late update.   
> I've just started school again and stuff just got crazy after that. But I'm gonna finish this! 
> 
> Hope you all will like this chapter, I've just gone through this once, so I'm sorry for any errors you might find. :)

Everything just clicked into place when he felt Daryl’s lips on his own. Every question he had seemed to be answered when he felt Daryl’s tongue caressing his bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen the kiss, which Paul gladly granted him. 

Paul felt himself slowly lose control of himself, losing himself more and more into the soft slide of Daryl’s tongue agains his own, the warmth of his body, the soft caress of his rough hands against his back and neck. 

Paul had never felt like this before. He always had to be in control, keep himself level headed. Not now.   
Now he was free to follow his emotions and lose himself completely. 

Paul buried his hands in the taller mans hair and pulled him closer against himself, making the other man moan against his mouth.   
The sound egging him on.   
Paul broke the kiss just to attack Daryl’s neck instead, electing another moan from him. 

“Paul. Please.” Daryl panted out, raking his blunt nails against Paul’s back, sending shivers of pleasure through his body. 

“What?” Paul asked agains his neck, and proceeded on kissing and nipping the reddened skin again. 

“Bedroom?” He got out, voice hoarse and wrecked. 

Paul stopped assaulting Daryl’s neck to look up at the other man.   
His eyes were heavy lidded and full of want, his skin was flushed and lips parted, panting heavily. 

“You want to?” Paul asked, feeling a little stupid for asking seeing the state of his roommate, but he felt like he had to. 

“I want to. Badly.” Daryl said, flushing a little more because of his bluntness.   
“But I want you to be sure.   
No regrets afterwards.” 

Daryl took a long breath and gripped Paul’s shoulders.   
“Do you want to be with me? Even afterwards? I don’t want a one time thing and all the awkwardness that comes with it.” Daryl said it while staring straight into Paul’s eyes.   
Straight into his soul. 

Did Paul want to? A relationship with Daryl? 

“Yes!” Paul said and attacked Daryl’s mouth this time.   
He felt the truth of his choice instantly.   
It felt right. The hardness of Daryl’s body against him felt like home.   
The warm caress of his hands wandering all over his body were sending pleasuring tingles all over, driving him wild. 

He wanted Daryl, all of him, so badly. 

Now it was Paul’s turn to break free before it got to hot and heavy, breathless and panting - “bedroom.” He said. 

Daryl claimed his mouth again and lifted up the smaller man.   
Paul hooked his legs around Daryls waist and let himself get carried by the other man. He felt a little silly being carried like that, but he was far too content to care. 

Daryl all but threw Paul onto the bed when he’d stumble into the dimly lit bedroom and started assaulting his neck with kisses.   
Paul gasped and tangled his fingers into Daryl’s dark hair, egging Daryl on further, vibrations of Daryl’s soft groans spreading from Paul’s neck al the way to the tips of Paul’s toes. 

Daryl’s ministrations moved further south as he started nipping and kissing his way down towards Paul’s collarbone and started tugging at his shirt. 

Paul caught on and sat up, helping Daryl rid himself of the hindering price of clothing, and helped Daryl get out of his own shirt right afterwards. 

Paul reached out, touching the other mans now exposed broad chest, fearing the coarse hairs against his hands.   
His wandering hands slid further down, towards the hem of his pants. 

Daryl gasped, muscles clenching and quivering at Paul’s light touch. He returned the favor, climbing on top of the other man, claiming his mouth once again.  
Their now naked chests sliding against each other, sending jolts of pleasure trough Paul’s body. 

Paul let go of Daryl’s hair, letting his hands travel down Daryl’s back, down towards the older mans jean clad ass, filling his eager hands with it. 

The older man didn’t seem to mind Paul’s bold move at all. So Paul decided to test the waters even further, giving his ass a squeeze, pressing him closer towards the smaller man.   
The movement effectively grounded their erections together eliciting gasps and moans from both of them. 

“Paul... I...” Daryl started but cut himself off with a breathy groan as he covered Paul’s lips with his own once again.   
Paul didn’t complain and continued pressing the other man against himself. 

“I-I need...” Daryl panted as he broke free from their lip lock for air. 

“Need what?” An equally breathless Paul asked, looking up at the man with heavy lidded eyes.   
His shoulder long hair was messy from Paul’s hand going through it multiple times, his lips were swollen and red from kissing, his eyes were heavy and shining with want.   
He looked absolutely breathtaking!   
“You.” Daryl answered and started pressing featherlight kisses from the base of Paul’s neck down towards his chest and all the way down to his hipbones. 

Paul followed the mans movements down his body with his eyes, panting heavily as his excitement rose.  
Daryl stopped what he was doing and looked up at the smaller man -asking for permission to go further.

“Yes” Paul said quietly.   
Daryl didn’t waist any time unbuttoning Paul’s pants and pulling them off of his legs quickly, the black boxer-briefs following soon afterwards. 

Daryl just stood there, eying Paul’s naked body with his lips slightly parted - like he was taking in the sight of the now naked man into his memory forever.

“You’re beautiful.” Daryl whispered, climbing on top of him again, showering him with kisses all the while he was traveling down the length of Paul’s body, stopping what he was doing just by the groin. 

Paul was just about to look down at the man when he felt a wet heat engulfing him, making him groan out loud and gasping for breath.   
Daryl groaned as he stared bobbing his head up and down in a steady rhythm, clearly enjoying what he was doing to the other man. 

“You- you need to stop... or I’m” Paul gasped out, cutting himself off when he felt Daryl’s tongue travel from the base to his over sensitive tip, lapping a little at his slit.   
“Not gonna... last.” 

He heard Daryl snicker as he stopped what he was doing and crawled on top of the smaller man again.   
Paul gasped for breath and tried desperately to regain control of himself again. He captured his partners lips with his own again, tasting himself on his tongue. 

The heated kiss did nothing to regain control of his overheated body as he clawed Daryl’s back with his blunt fingernails and trusted his hips up - trying to get some friction on his aching erection.   
Growling into Daryl’s mouth he pushed, earning himself a gasp from the other man and successfully flipped them around so Paul was straddling Daryl instead. 

He then slid down the length of the taller mans body, tugging the jeans and boxers off of him so that he was as naked as Paul was.   
He too took a few breaths to just admire the other mans nude body.   
The wide shoulders and chest now glistening with light perspiration, his long strong legs and enlarge member just aching to be touched.   
Daryl was watching him through his long bangs, panting lightly through his parted lips. 

Paul climbed on top of Daryl, straddling his thighs and gripped his length with his right hand smirking lightly when he heard Daryl hiss from the touch.   
He continued stroking Daryl’s cock slowly up and down, loving the soft sounds coming out of the other mans mouth at his light torture. 

“Paul... please!” Daryl groaned out.   
“Stop teasing me... please... just.”   
He didn’t finish the sentence. Instead he grabbed hold of Paul’s wrists and yanked him down on top of him, kissing him fiercely thrusting his hips up against Paul, successfully rubbing himself up against Paul’s equally aching and leaking cock, making both men groan and shudder with pleasure. 

Paul felt like his skin was on fire!   
All he could feel was Daryl’s hard and warm body underneath him and the burning touch of warm hands caress his already overheated skin.   
The room was filled with the sound of gasps and moans as they continued trusting again each other, steadily getting closer and closer towards the edge off bliss. 

Paul gasped and gripped Daryl harder against himself as he felt his climax steadily approaching.   
He heard Daryl grunt and felt his steady thrusting faltering, breath coming in short puffs.   
“Shit I’m...” Daryl said breathlessly and tensed as paul the hotness of Daryl’s release against his still aching member.   
“Shit” paul groaned out as he too felt himself tumble over the edge hard.   
He bit down at the junction of Daryl’s neck to keep himself from screaming out as the orgasm wracked through him in strong waves.   
It felt like he was falling into pieces and Daryl’s touch was collecting him again.   
Making him whole. 

Finally coming down from the strongest orgasm of his life he used the last of the energy he had left in his body to roll off of his partner to lay beside him instead.   
Paul turned his head to look at Daryl, finding that he too was watching Paul.   
He grasped the taller mans hand in his own, smiling softly at him before drifting off into a peaceful slumber. 

* 

“Warm” - was the first thing that jumped into Paul’s head when his sleeping mind slowly started to wake up. He felt the warm and solid form of the other man pressing up to him snuggly from behind.   
“And sticky.” He cringed a little when he felt the now dried evidence of what had transpired the night before. 

“Morning” he heard Daryl say and felt the ghosting of a kiss on his neck.   
He opened his eyes and turned around to face the other man. 

“Good morning.” He said, giving him a bright smile. He couldn’t help the nervousness seeping into him against his will.   
“So.” He said in an attempt to brake the awkward silence between the two of them. 

“So...” Daryl said, eliciting a little nervous laugh, shaking his head at the awkward tension.   
“This doesn’t have to be weird if we don’t want it to be.” Daryl said sitting up. 

“Right!” Paul agreed, eyeing Daryl’s bare chest.   
“So, I guess we’re together now?” Paul asked, letting his gaze wander up to Daryl’s face instead. 

“I would like that. Been wanting it for quite a while now actually.” Daryl confessed, rubbing the back of his head nervously. 

“You have?” Paul gasped I chock.   
“Why have you... I never noticed. Why didn’t you...?” 

“Because you never showed any interest of being more than friends.” Daryl answered simply.   
Paul looked down at his hands while tracing the patterns of the bed linen with his fingers. 

“Neither did you.” Paul said quietly. 

“I did.” Daryl said. “I’ve tried to break through the friend zone quite a few times.” 

Paul thought about what Hershel had said about the looks he’d seen Daryl give him and in what other ways he’d said Daryl hadn’t acted in a just plain “friendly” manner.   
And the more he thought about it the more obvious it was!   
He knew for a fact that Daryl was the type of guy that showed his emotions more than talked about them. 

“Oh.” Paul said.   
“But you’ve been out on dates and stuff.” Paul said, looking up at the older guy again. 

“That was because of Rick. He set me up on a few blind dates.” Daryl explained.   
“Said that I couldn’t wait for you all my life.” 

“Ah.” Paul said, feeling a little bad for his obliviousness.   
“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Daryl said. “Truth is I didn’t think you were interested in me at all.” 

Paul leaned back into the softness of the bed, grasping for Daryl’s hand, intwining their fingers.   
“I didn’t know I was actually.” Paul said honestly.   
He looked into Daryl’s eyes as he started to talk. 

“I need to tell you something.” He began. Scratching his beard nervously before letting his hand fall on the bed.   
“A few years ago I had a really bad breakup. The guy I was dating had this addiction. He was a gambler. I didn’t notice anything at first, but little by little money started disappearing from my wallet, and then my account.   
Turned out he owed the wrong crowd money.   
This huge guy showed up at our doorstep, started threatening me. Telling me he wanted his money at the end of the week.” Paul felt Daryl squeezed his hand softly and saw a swirl of mixed emotions in his eyes.   
“When I confronted him about it, it turned ugly real fast. He tried guilting me into giving him the money, said that they would kill him if I didn’t.   
He got aggressive when I refused and stormed out of the apartment after.   
In the end he got his money. He drained my account completely. Never saw him again.” 

“Didn’t you go to the police?” Daryl asked. 

Paul nodded “They couldn’t trace him. It was like my money had vanished into thin air.” 

“Shit.” Daryl breathed. 

“Yeah.” Paul said just as quietly.   
“That’s when I gave up. Swore to never love anyone again.   
But, I guess you changed that somehow.”   
Daryl laughed a little at that and squeezed Paul’s hand again. 

“Yeah. Took some time though.” He said, laying down beside him. 

“It did. But I’ve been thinking about you for some time now. Just pushed it away.” 

“I’m glad you stopped pushing it away.” Daryl said, giving Paul a soft kiss on the lips. 

“Me too.”


	7. Short update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be deleted later

Hello everyone! 

I just wanted to make a short update on my progress of this story, or rather lack of progress. 

I'm currently drowning in schoolwork and actual work, and the limited hours of the days doesn't leave me any room to actually write anything other than homework. 

And the slim free time I get I have to spend with my kids and partner. 

I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't forgotten about this, and that I really want to update and continue write, but I just can't find the time to do so, right now. 

My hope is that I will get more time to do what I want when school ends for summer.   
So, im really sorry. But I will be back!


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